Over the past few months, I feel like I’ve been waiting, searching, searching while I wait, and waiting while I search for a specific human. I’ve been looking for someone who can tell me about the state of my soul. Someone who can give me all kinds of tinctures, recipes, and advice on natural healing. Someone who knows my idiosyncrasies. Like a mother, a guide, and best friend all in one. Reading spiritual texts and spotting “444” in the oddest places have me feeling as if I need a pure, unbiased being to clue me in.
I came to the conclusion that this caring, guru-like lover that I was seeking was none other than myself. I think we are taught to trust other people’s ideas for us, instead of developing our own desires and self awareness. Here at CheapyXO, we are all about the development of the individual though. Why? Because ultimately, you are your own. Yes, having friends, allowing people to love and help, and fostering romantic relationships are integral parts of the human experience. I would be remiss if I asked anyone to give those things up. I just want to stress that it’s mandatory that you step back every once and a while to get a firm grasp on who you are.
Below, the late Olympic gold medalist Flo Jo talked about the power of self and how to have a multi-layered healthy relationship with yourself.
One thing that can help with any healing process is breaking out of the 24-hour news cycle, and social media altogether. Social media is great, but it’s messed with many people’s ideas of time and success, and also added to the amount of trauma (especially Black trauma) that the public ingests. Plus, it’s instant gratification, which I’m sure a lot of you know is the bane of creatives. You have to take time creating, you have to take time to live your life, and you have to take time letting things go. It can be hard to do that when you’re force fed often fabricated stories of speedy recoveries, racist mentalities, and overnight, sensational creations.
For those who work in media, or have a career that relies on the internet, there are ways to even take short, calculated breathers. I personally try to have boundaries about being on social media when I’m having family time. Turning your phone’s volume down and flipping the screen over are some of the easiest ways to just unplug. Do this for as long as you feel comfortable. Don’t feel bad for not wanting to see murdered bodies, crime, and ignorance on your timeline constantly. Also, take things with a grain of salt, you know? Keep in mind that the internet can be an illusion.
Something else that can be done to grasp more inner peace is finding things that help the world spin more slowly. Rushing all of the time is unhealthy. It can also play a part in anxiety and the inability to focus. Too many responsibilities, coupled with feeling guilty for your emotions can make it seem like the earth is rotating rapidly and beyond your control. Find hobbies that center you, like drawing, writing music, knitting, cooking, or whatever it is that puts you at complete ease. I like to journal and meditate – they both force me to be completely in the moment and focus on what I’m living through. Also, trying to develop steady habits, like incorporating vegetables in your diet, getting plenty of rest, moving around,
I hope everyone finds something that centers them, so they can stop wearing themselves thin and giving into failing systems. Life should not feel like it’s crushing you always – there are steps you can take to ease your mind. Always remember that you’re the healer you’re looking for!